September 30, 2010

Chick Shows Girls How To Be Hot

By Arnalda Palmer

Every now and then I like to peruse the interwebs and look for all the ways that I can truly be a metal chick. Luckily, I stumbled upon the above video that adequately teaches me how to look like one. I just marveled through out the video and was so ecstatic to find such an erudite demonstrator.
I don't know why it never occurred to me that a "chick" who is a metalhead should look like a tacky whore. This whole time, why did I avoid the beauty section at Family Dollar? 

So many "metal concert thing" that went by and I didn't have my skull adorned with polyester multi-colored hair clip-on extensions. Alas, my face wasn't painted with Crayola markers. Oh, classic Megadeth T-shirt? I'm putting you through the paper shredder. Also, I have to now glue a cool zipper on the side of all my pants and "hardware" to my boots. I'm thinking an array of nuts, bolts, a monkey wrench, my modem, a capuchin, some bananas… ok now I'm getting carried away.
I really hope to see this girl at the next show I go to. So that I can thank her. And then shove my hand down her throat, pull out her lung meat and asphyxiate her face in it. That would be another way for her to look metal and she wouldn't need blush for it either.


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